Updated: Sep 25
I remember from a very young age that there was a supernatural aspect to life, something that was not being explained. And why wouldn’t there be, I knew that there was progress and so there must always be something unknown.
So many Ufologists have stories of being a child in a crib and feeling a hand pulling at them or seeing an alien appear to them briefly. I have had my own such experience. I remember being haunted by the dark energy and sound of the railcars of the train passing by the back of the house. What may have only been an imaginary friend under the bed to parents was a real happening, if you are able to take in that experience and bring it back from the part of the mind that stores that which the rational mind cannot explain. For me, I was lying in my crib and I felt a dark energy enfold me, snaking up to my leg and trying to pull my soul body out.
I was an intuitive as a kid and very aware of injustice. I could not understand a stance that was reticent to care but eager to pounce on the smallest of insecurities of another person. Like a bold lightening I was struck by an energy that shook reality. I was three or four years old. There was a magic in the air, there was something happening in my room without there being another living human. I heard a voice speak to me. I was unsettled to my core but curious about the unseen. I had nothing to fear then. I was asked if I wanted to go to space but what could only be either alien or secret space program military personnel.
I said ,” No. I don’t have any desire to leave Earth. I love the trees, the rocks, the beauty of nature. There is so much to explore. An endless amount of new sights to see and experiences”. The response was that I would have to be made to say Yes. It was what must be done. I would do as I was told! These voices beaming in would force me to agree, from voices that seemed to be coming through a wall no less!
For such a young person I seemed to have already figured out much of my life’s purpose, because the rest of the conversation must have come to me from my future, more mature self, or so I have always thought. “I don’t want to go outside the Earth’s atmosphere but I can serve the good of humanity in another way. I would chose to be a beacon for independent women and chose not to have children, and be a role model as a woman without the need or want to be a mother.” I went on to say that I NEVER wanted to leave the Earth’s atmosphere, which was a joke to the alien beings or military or whoever they were. “Earth’s atmosphere!” They rolled in menacing conceit, what a droll idea. The Earth’s atmosphere could be defined as anything they wanted to define it as! HA! Earth’s atmosphere could mean the galaxy or the solar system if they wanted it to be! “You don’t want to meet any aliens? Well, we can always send you underground haha!” They laughed evilly.
Like many profound spiritual experiences every minute of the experience isn’t a crystal clear. These are the words I remember. This actually happened to me despite the fact that it took many years for me to find any sort of meaning to this brief experience.
“You will do what I say!” These dark men voices said. I said “No I don’t want to.” But these energies surrounded my little being and forced themselves into my mind. I tried to move my knees to the ground to end the attack. I was a toddler but I knew what begging was. I was trying to resist an unknown force using some kind of spiritual power or technology against me. It was defeatingly unescapable yet a joke to the concrete physical world at the same time. Without the use of my own will I heard the words “I will” form in my head and then in my mouth. I heard those words spoken by me like I was participating in some kind of dream not of this reality. It was hardly possible what was happening to me. In anxious I did my best to withstand it. There was a loud boom and maybe I lost my senses for a bit. What I do remember next is standing back up to finish the sentence I had just said. “Not! I will NOT!”
Then everything changed. I had feared death even. I feared outer space. I feared that emptiness and the loss of everything under my feet, all I had ever known. I thought I was just going to be grabbed by giant hand of energy and picked up and out to who knows where. But I took a moment to breathe the fear out and none of the above happened.
I heard the voices discussing among themselves saying, “How does she know about Cosmic Law? She doesn’t want to go to space? She’s too young to know about Cosmic Law. How does she know about Cosmic Law?” I had deep hope that I could avoid this fate by verbalizing my non-agreement. I was too young to have really thought about my future life so much so how could I have know that I would not want to go to space later? (Still I reserve the right to say I will never go to space at the same time that I reserve the right to say that I would allow myself to take a trip out there if the circumstances were right.)
These voices to me were even cartoon like, unreal, maybe even like a Barney or a Genie from Aladdin. In my mind I had told those military men that I wanted them to grant a wish of mine and give me a horse! “I want a horse. Give me a horse!”, I said.
These new voices seemed to be more benevolent and oriented towards helping me recover from this experience, whatever had happened to me. They spoke to me, but to themselves and said, “Maybe she has already been to space in a previous life. Maybe that is why she knows she doesn’t want to go to outer space.”
I remember my mother coming into the room, seeing me talking to the wall. I tried to tell her there was someone there. My parents first thought was demons. They looked both ways for a while after that when speaking to me. For me emotionally it was a great loss. For a carefree young kid suddenly, the days started to drag on. My parents were scared briefly enough, as if I had been insufferable.